Dear Barney & Co.,
When I was but a wee lass, I loved you and your dinosaur friends. You were big, you were purple, and you were friendly. Baby Bop(or as i called her when i was young, "baby wipe") was the best, unless being able to see her involved meeting her in person at Toys R Us, in which case it was quite traumatizing. But that's a different story! Barney, I even sang in a contest for you. Yes, it's true; I sang in a Barney theme song contest all in the hopes that I would be on your show. I practiced for days and days, making sure I had the song memorized. Needless to say, I never got on the show(now that i think about it, i can probably thank selena gomez for that...).
As much as I loved you then, it's now very apparent to me how creepy you really are. I mean, you're a huge purple dinosaur who loves to hug and kiss(aka "taste") little kids. You're like IT the Clown disguised as a less frightening felt reptile. How did I ever find comfort in your creepy little theme song?!
I love you
You love me
We're a great big family
With a great big kiss
And a hug from me to you
Won't you say you love me too!
No Barney, I will NOT say I love you.
A very scared teen, A.
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