Fowl are foul.

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I am quite scared of birds. Don't laugh, because it's true.

According to Merriam-Webster, a bird is any of a class (Aves) of warm-blooded vertebrates distinguished by having the body more or less completely covered with feathers and the forelimbs modified as wings.

According to me, a bird is a rat with wings, ready to strike me down at any moment. Ugh.

Seriously though! Birds are so twitchy and mean looking and sharp. They have all those natural weapons that look as though they're just waiting to be used on my skin. Don't get me wrong, because I do find some small birds quite cute, but ONLY from a distance. Owls always have the feeling about them that suggests that they hate your soul and wish to eat it. As for other, more large birds...well, they scare the bageebers out of me.

LOOK AT THAT BEAK! LOOK AT THAT GLARE! THANK GOODNESS YOU CAN'T LOOK AT IT'S TALONS!

Good grief, I think that if I were to walk outside one day and see this...creature on the front lawn, I would be scared stiff. I'm betting that I wouldn't be able to turn back around and make it into the house, for fear of it flapping towards me all of a sudden and pecking my eyeballs out. And to be frank, I rather like my eyes and would prefer them to stay where they are.