3 Wishes

1. I Wish I Could Work On Movies

I have always loved all of the hard work that goes into making movies. There's so much that goes on behind the scenes that most people don't ever think about. Make-up, costumes, cameras, script writing, audio, locations, stunts, digital special effects, different filming techniques...it's all so awesome! It's really interesting to see all of the backstage work. I actually love that stuff way more than the actual movies. I try to learn as much as I can about that stuff and even try my best to practice with different props and camera angles in my own short films. I would LOVE to have the opportunity to work on bigger films sometime in my future.

2. I Wish People Could Teleport

Seriously. I'm all for car rides, as long as they don't last for 5+ hours. I've got a 9 hour car ride coming up, and I sooo just wish I could click the heels of my blue Converse and just be home. Of course, it's not as bad as it could be, since Ryan will be with me, but still...car rides make my butt hurt. Blunt, but true.

3. I Wish Birds Weren't So Creepy

Birds are evil. I guess I could be wishing that I weren't afraid of them, but that wouldn't be any fun. I wish they weren't on the beach when I'm out there. I wish that the zoo wouldn't think of them as exhibit worthy. I wish pet stores would put the birds in more secure cages. I REALLY wish that birds weren't so twitchy. I hate how twitchy they are. Those scary eyes that only blink every so often, their stupid flappy wings that they whip out to scare the crap out of me, those reptilian legs and sometimes taloned feet! Creepy. As. Heck.

Hmm...can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now. ;P

The Sun Is Up, The Sky Is Blue. It's Beautiful, And So Are You

Everyone strives for perfection in some way, whether it be with our looks, lifestyle, or relationships. It's always sad when people come to the conclusion that there isn't a such thing as "perfect", and then take it out on themselves.

Cutting, eating disorders, depression...it's terrible. The world has given most of us false expectations and when we realize we can't fulfill them, we crash and burn.

One of the top false expectations? Appearances. They're what controls our lives. Might sound dramatic, but it's very true.

Think about it: Is there a day that goes by without you thinking one false thing about yourself? Do you ever have a day where you're perfectly content with how you look, and you wouldn't change a thing? If you have, then you're either a better person than I am or you're a complete liar.

I NEVER have one of those days. I am always willing to think, "Oh, my nose really is too big. My hair is so stupid. I wish eyes weren't like that." If, considering you are an honest person, you were to sit down in front of a full length mirror, admit it; You'd give yourself the once-over. If you were totally alone and bored and had nothing else to do, you'd probably give that mirror more than just a glace. You'd probably stare at whatever it is you dislike the most. At least, that's what I do.

If someone were to do that too long, they would go insane. If we sit there and try to compare ourselves to what the world has told us is "pretty", we would drive ourselves absolutely batty.

The world has told us that to be attractive, we must all be the right size, the right shape, and have the right style. If we aren't tall, blond, and rail thin, then we aren't fit to look at. If we don't wear certain clothes or know about a certain brand, we are cheap, poor, and/or stupid. Does anyone else find that insane?!

I've dealt with that sort of thing before. I've been told that I eat too much, that my hair would look better straight, and that I'm so country, I don't know something so simple as to how to properly pronounce the brand, Aeropostale. Do any of those things really matter? Even if they are true, who cares?

The sad thing is, MOST of society cares. So many websites and magazines about which perfect celebrity wore which perfect outfit...perfectly. Some people tend to create idols of these actors and actresses, and it's just not how it should be. Those photoshopped glam queens you see on the silver screen and on the cover of Sports Illustrated? Completely fake.

They've been so tweaked, pulled, stretched, and stiffened, that they are no longer what GOD made them to be. They let the world get to them, and they changed the way that they looked so they could look "better", based on what society told them looks good. Take a look at this verse.

"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." - Song of Solomon, 4:7(NIV)

Amazing. The Creator of the universe, the one who could make you look as Hollywood as He wants, thinks you are beautiful AS YOU ARE. That's really something else.

God made you how He wanted you. According to popular belief, He doesn't make mistakes. He knew what He was doing when He created you, and He thinks you're all beautiful. Not ugly, not overweight, not too short, not too disproportioned; He thinks you are all beautiful.

That's just mind blowing to me! Just for the sake of others as a way to try to maybe start a new trend(one where girls feel better about themselves no matter what), I'm going to try my best not to complain to others about my looks. I should put God's opinion first, always. If He thinks that there's no flaw in me, then so be it. I tweak a quote from Bruno Mars when I say,

I am amazing, just the way I am.




*For anyone who is interested in the topic, check out THIS blog. The girl who writes on there is way better than I am, and she expresses what she's thinking much better than I. Be sure to follow her blog and let her know what you think!

Stupid Cupid...

Valentine's Day. Wow. To sum it up in one word, it was amazinglyfantasticalandoverallthebestdayever. Seriously.

I have never really enjoyed Valentine's Day. It had it's nice moments of course, like whenever Mom and Dad would get us kids some gifts and candy, but it's never really been a day spent with a significant other. That is, not until this year.

This V-Day was amazing. I got to spend the entire day with my amazing boyfriend, just chilling out at the park and talking. We went to eat, watched a movie, and took pictures. It was great! The only time I was able to make myself stop smiling is whenever my cheeks starting to hurt, and even then it was hard to resist the urge.

Yesterday just further proved how much he really does love me. I mean, look at what he got me!

A true man knows that a way to a woman's heart is food. And not just any food; Her favorite candy bar on the planet in KING SIZE FORM.

HE GOT ME A ROSE! I love it. I'm a big sucker for flowers. I've never even had a guy get me flowers before, so to have Ryan get me a rose on Valentine's Day? Yeah, it was pretty darn great.

Of course, as much as I love those gifts, the best was saved for last. Are you ready to see this awesomeness? I'm thinking no. Nothing can prepare you for...

BEST CARD IN EXISTENCE. It was epic. It was lovely. It was homemade. It was obviously filled with effort. I love it! It was way meaningful and I love him for taking the time to work on it.

Of course, there was one last gift that I couldn't take a picture of. I don't even think I'm going to say what exactly it was, because it's sort of like my own personal little secret gift, and I love it too much to share. It made me cry though, and it probably THE sweetest(and funniest) thing anyone has ever done for me. All in all?

Valentine's Day rocked.

Sweetie Pie, Why Oh Why

Am I the only one who feels like a druggie while eating Pixy Stix? There's just something about the way it feels pouring that tart sugar into my mouth over and over again...

Anyways, I feel like talking about candy. It would be dumb of me to ask if you like candy, because EVERYONE likes candy. The better question would be, what is, in your opinion, the BEST candy in the whole entire universe? I'm here to tell you folks that unless you agree with me, your choice of best candy would be absolutely WRONG.

Obviously, there's different categories of candy. I'm only going to cover the following three.

1. Candy Bars
2. Hard Candy
3. Best Candy of All Time

1. Candy Bars

Best candy bar in existence? Psht, this is a no brainer, people.

I love Zero bars. Oh my goodness. They seriously taste a bit like chocolate covered cherries for some reason, and they are AMAZING. I had my first ever Zero bar on the way to my great grandma's house. She happens to adore these wonderful bars of Heaven, so we stopped by Sam's Club to get her a box for her birthday. We also got us a box, and on the way up to her house, the family each had one. It was pretty much the best day of my life. Ok, so that was a lie, but it was the day that I decided I loved Zero bars more than Butterfingers, and that's really saying something.

2. Hard Candy

I'm not a big fan of hard candy. I can only eat so many peppermints, butterscotch is alright, and those weird little strawberry-wrapped candies aren't what they used to be. It wasn't until a few years ago that I found my one true addiction.

You can ask anyone who knows me; I have an obsession with this candy. I absolutely must always have a small bag of them in my room, or else I can't function properly. You know those whacked out kids who had visions of sugar plums? Well, I have visions of tap dancing lemonheads. They're soo good! I love it when I find a really small one. They're always the best of the bunch.

3. Best Candy of All Time

Ahh, the moment we've all been waiting for! Can I get a drum roll, please? *insert a snazzy drum roll of your liking*

M&MS! I don't care what anyone says, m&ms are the bomb diggity times forever. I could(and have)eat them all day long and not get sick of them. They're the most colorful, most awesome, and over all most bestest candy EVER. To those people who eat them in handfuls, I bite my thumb at thee. M&ms are best eaten one at a time, starting by chewing the hard candy coating off, then sucking on the chocolaty inside. When I eat them, I try to make sure that I always have at least one of every basic color at the end. Might seem a little OCD, but it's better than how I used to eat them; By color. Red, yellow, orange, blue, green, brown, in that order! Yeah, it was weird...

Of course, there are other honorary mentions, such as Reese's Pieces, sour gummy worms, Twix bars, Smarties, etc. None can compare to my above favorites, though.

Oh, and since I put my favorites, I might as well add in my least favorite candy...


Disgusting. Pretty much every green candy in the world is disgusting. Yuck.

The Wandering Mind Is A Dangerous Thing

What's the deal with my brain? Why am I so obviously insane?

Weezer, I couldn't have said it any better myself. I think those exact lyrics SO OFTEN. To have finally heard a song(Perfect Situation. Go listen. Now.) that sings my thoughts out loud was actually quite refreshing.

I really do wonder if I'm insane sometimes. I mean, I have one unique mind and view of the world. While this can sometimes be a good thing, there are those moments where I wish I didn't have the mind that I have.

Most of those moments are when I'm laying in my bed or just sitting at my desk in the dark, all alone. If I'm not doing anything that takes a bit of brain power, my mind will start to wander and create insane scenarios.

Crazy, scary scenarios where someone(or someTHING) will come out of nowhere and start attacking me. Or if I'm downstairs, I always have to run back up the stairs because I can just FEEL someone chasing me, waiting for me to trip so the creature can grab my leg and drag me back down the hall and into it's secluded lair of pure freakiness.

Overactive imaginations run in my family. My mother and my grandma both have overactive minds like myself. We're all great at thinking stuff up, but we also know just how to scare ourselves silly.

Strange shadows, odd noises, dolls and stuffed animals with unblinking eyes and movable heads, the space under the bed...those are all things that creep me out just about any time of the day. I just paused to look around my bedroom...and at least for the moment, I am safe.

A Little Diddy I Wrote Just Now...

I wish I may, I wish I might,
Make the snow go away tonight!
I miss my friends and I miss the Spring,
Sunshine is what I want the weather to bring.
To go outside without freezing to death,
To go outside without seeing my breath.
To go outside to enjoy the heat,
To walk in the grass with naked feet.
All of these and more are things that I long to do,
But they won't happen until Winter goes "shoo!".
I hate you, Snow. This is the honest truth.
You pain me just like a cavity infested tooth.
Never return, and never come back!
Have I made myself clear, my dear Mr. Jack?
So in conclusion, I just want you to die.
I want us to have a truly final goodbye.

-Snow

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

Oh, how I miss my Charlie Cat.

Charlie Charlie Charlie...what a funny cat he was! He was seriously very bipolar. First he loved you, then he would hate you. He was moody, unpredictable, evil, intelligent, stubborn, and dangerous, but he was also my baby Charlie.

My grandparents found him when he was just a tiny little thing, only a few weeks old. Even then, in those early stages of his interesting life, he was the cat from Hell. He wasn't loving like most kittens. Instead of purring and wanting to play, he would run and attack your legs, feet, hands; Anything he could sink those tiny claws and teeth into. At first it was cute and didn't hurt that bad.

"Oh, isn't he a funny little thing!", we would say.

Charlie(named after the famous "Charlie Bit Me video on Youtube) was still just a "funny little thing", all the way up into his toddler years.

Whenever my Charlie got to be a bigger kitten, he started to realize who the boss was in our relationship: Him! He would have an honest to goodness attitude with me if I didn't let him have his way or didn't do what he wanted me to do. He would bite me if I told him no, he would attack me with vigor out of nowhere if I wasn't paying attention to him, and he would hollar at me when he was frustrated. I know I sound like the typical crazy cat lady, but I swear every word of this is true. There was more to that cat than most people realized.

Charlie was every bit the abusive husband. When he was bad, he was horrible. He couldn't be controlled and he would be in a bad mood for hours. When he was nice, he would turn on the charm and try his best to sweet talk you into loving him again, apologizing for everything unkind he'd done. When he was purring and riding on my back(one of his favorite pastimes), it was as if he was a different cat. "Look, Mom! I can change. I really changed this time! I love you again and I always will!"

Charlie was my absolute FAVORITE cat to take pictures of. He was the purrfect(excuse the bad pun) model. He had absolutely gorgeous eyes and he had a way of posing just right and for just long enough. I think he's what really got me into animal photography. Here's a few of my favorite pictures of him.

He was such a goofball sometimes!

My Charlie...he was just so unique! Everything he did was unlike any cat we'd ever had before. Even though he did a ton of mostly really bad things(like attacking my mom. one word: nightmarish), he was still such a fantastic cat, just because he was so different. I'm not going to lie to you, friends; I teared up more than a little bit while writing this and going through all of the old pictures of my baby. He's been gone for more than a year now, and I still wish that he hadn't of ran away. I always thought that he might, but when the day came that he really did, it was just so sad.

Charlie was one of the most exciting cats I have ever had, and I think a part of me will always miss him. He was more like a crummy friend than he was a feline. I could go on and on about him, but I think this trip down memory lane has been quite enough for one night. All in all, I miss my Charlie Cat.

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile

Gah, I love him!

Where I am in this picture is one of my favorite places to be; Right next to him. It's also one of the places where I wish I could be right now, just because I miss him so much!

His smile is just so contagious! It really is. No matter how hard I try or how much I don't feel like smiling, all Ryan has to do is look at me, and I give in. I can't help it. It's hard to resist that face. It's definitely NOT a face that only a mother could love; It's also loved by his girlfriend.

Rhino, if you happen to be reading this, you should know that I'm expecting a HUGE smile on that cute face when I next see you. No ifs, ands, or buts about it!

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of

The above is a picture of what my brother's sense of humor looks like.

I am an aichmophobic. I can't STAND blades of any sort. I hate anything to do with them! On movies where they're fixing to slice someone somewhere, I have to look away. It gives me the eeby jeebies like you wouldn't believe.

What's worse is when in real life, my friends find it amusing to creep me out by getting a pocket knife and carefully running it along their wrists. I hate that. I'm just so certain that they're going to do that, fooling around, then something is going to jar their hand, then they'll end up slitting their own wrist accidentally. I seriously just shuddered at the thought...

I find it so scary that people can be cut open so easily. We're nothing but blocks of soft cheese, waiting to be sliced! It's so weird, though; I can watch surgeries and the doctors messing around with people's innards, but let me see that scalpel, and I'm weak in the knees and ready to cry.

All in all, blades are seriously really, really scary.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member

Me and Spam-a-lam-a-ding-dong!

Ahh, what a kid...we have definitely had an unusual relationship over the years. On some days we can't stand each other, then on others we're the dynamic duo, going back and forth with some of the best witty banter in town.

Even though we have a 7 year age difference and we sometimes have conflict issues, I love my little Spam. He's smart, unique, funny, cute, and he likes to play Guitar Hero with me, which alone makes for one pretty good little brother.

Love you, Sam! =D

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you

No, balloons do not mean a lot to me.

What really means a lot to me is creativity. There's not a day that goes by that I don't have at least a little bit of creativity going on.

My life just wouldn't be the same if I didn't have so many creative outlets. I honestly couldn't function right in this world if I didn't have writing, photography, video making, drawing, acting, crafting, or anything else of that sort. Without that stuff, the world would be nothing but a blah and colorless place of boredom.

There's so much out there waiting to be created. The wonderful thing about creations is that everything is 100% your own. No one in the world can imagine like you do; Your mind is your own. Take drawing for example. Whenever you sit two people down and tell them to draw the same object, the two completed drawings are going to look completely different from each other. That's why I love artsy type stuff!

I love the feeling of being unique and special. I love knowing that I'm good at something such as thinking up new ideas for projects or snapping a couple of good pictures. I would love more than anything to do something involving vast amounts of creativity for a living. Movie making, photo journalism, advertisement, broadcasting...all of those would be amazing jobs to have.

I hope that I can better shape my creative talents and use them for a living. If not, then creating stuff will always be a much loved hobby.

Day 25 - A picture of your day

I was in this car for most of the day...

Today was spent in Gallatin with Ryan and Jesse. We went with Ryan while he applied for jobs, then went to watch a couple of basketball games at the Civic Center. It was SO much fun! PLUS, I got to eat at Taco Bell, which always makes me a happy camper. It was a long day though, and now I am pooped...

Goodnight, world!

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change

I wish so much that I could change the calendar.

I would make it to where there was no such thing as Monday, rearrange the days to where people couldn't associate vulgar phrases with them, and have a super fun holiday on almost every weekend. I would make every day be, "See Your Boyfriend" day. I would make the 15th of May be a day of nothing but cornbread. If you didn't want to have a birthday, you could just ignore it and forget it ever happened.

....I'm screwing up centuries of time keeping. Aren't I such a stinker? ;P

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book

I had a really, REALLY hard time choosing a favorite book. I have so many! In the end though, it was between The Sword of the Rightful King and The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine. I finally decided that SotRK should be the one I write about, and here's why!

This is seriously one of the best young adult novels I have ever read. It's full of adventure, suspense, magic, bravery, romance, friendship, murder, and more. Here's a summary of it...

The newly crowned King Arthur is unsure of himself; worse, the people are unsure of him. Too many people want the throne, and treachery is everywhere. Merlin must do something before the king is betrayed, or murdered, or — worst of all — gets married. So Merlin magically places a sword into a slab of rock, lets it be known that whosoever removes the blade will rule all of England, and invites any man who would dare, to try to pull out the sword.

After a bit of showmanship, Arthur will draw the blade (with a little magical help, of course), and the people will rally around the young king. Except someone else pulls the sword out first....

Oh my goodness! I love it! The plot of this book is amazing, and no matter how many times I read it(and i've already read it at least 7 times), the ending always shocks me. If you haven't read it, you should really consider borrowing it from your library, because it is FANTASTIC.

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at

I wish so much that I could play better than I do.

As I sit here and listen to the amazing piano talents of Matthew Bellamy from Muse and August Burns Red's Piano Man, I find myself filled with such an overwhelming feeling of longing. To be able to play something much more complicated and beautiful than what I play now! To be able to read music much quicker or to be able to play by sound! Nothing could compare!

That sounds really dramatic, but it's so true! I love musical talents. I really do. I think it's one of the best material talents a person can have, especially if it's with the piano. I have a small handful of friends who can play quite beautifully, and I envy every one of them. They have no shame in playing in front of people, either(something which i'm trying to get over).

I'm thankful that I have such a wonderful piano teacher. She really knows her stuff and she's taught me so much. I've taken piano since September of 2009, and according to the handful of people who've heard me play, I'm well ahead of myself. It's just one of those things though where I wish I could wake up one day and be a piano protege.

Since that's very unlikely to happen anytime soon, I suppose I'll just have to keep practicing and hope that I can stick with it. =]

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

So call me crazy, but isn't it kind of an oxymoron to post a picture of something you want to forget?

There isn't anything major in life that I'd like to forget. I mean, everything happens for a reason and helps in some way to mold you into who you are at that point in your life. If I chose to forget something, I would be taking away from myself and be making myself libel to repeat history. No, thank you.

If I HAD to choose something to forget though, I'd choose to forget that I had a certain fear or that I did a certain bad habit. Maybe I'd forget that I was scared of super deep water, then go deep sea diving. Of course, my naturally morbid mind suddenly starts playing the Jaws theme song and a bloody massacre ensues, but I'll not go into detail about that....