If my friend can be brave enough to post what she really thinks, then I can too.
Sometimes, I get depressed. I'm not talking "Oh, I'm down in the dumps today." I'm talking full out "Why me? Why am I even here?" days. On those days, life is seemingly pointless.
Sometimes I'll feel like I have no true friends; None that actually care about what's going on in my life. None that miss me while they or I am away. None that really NEED me.
Sometimes I'll feel super lonely and sad, just because I'm not doing anything. That's part of why I love working so much. It's something to do and it makes me feel useful and needed.
I often doubt my usefulness to others. I don't know why. There's just something inside my head that just makes me start second guessing my self worth. I have to have some sort of encouragement everyday that I am worth something, or else I'll start thinking emo thoughts or create crazy scenarios in my head.
"Would such and such miss me if I were to die? I wonder who would drop everything to come visit me in the hospital? Who outside of my family really cares about me?"
I know it's dumb to think any of those things. Heck, it's dumb to feel down at all. Not only do I have family and a few close friends who really do care for me, I also have a GOD who loves me more than I can ever know.
He needs me, He has a purpose for me, and He is always there for me no matter what.
I just need to be better at remembering that.
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