A chance to redeem myself. . .

So graduation night came, I listened to my Dad's speech, and then it was my turn. There was SO much that I wanted to say, but for fear of completely losing it and gaining the reputation of "the cry baby", I simply failed and just kept saying how thankful I was for everything, over and over again.

I'm lame, I know.

Anyways, I figured I should take this chance to maybe say what I had originally wanted to share with all of those people whom I've known for most of my life. The moment may be gone for the majority of you, but for me, the awe is still there. So, without further ado, I give you the speech that should have been said.

I can't believe I made it!

I tried and tried for a long time to think of some sort of great and amazing speech to give today, but after thinking about it, I've decided to just wing it.

First off, one of the main reasons why I'm here today is my parents, so they should definitely be mentioned. I could do the typical "good child" thing and just give the basic, "they did everything for me and I love them" thing, but I'm not typical.

My parents have done MORE than everything for me. Not only have they raised and taken care of me, they've also loved, taught, encouraged, helped, and guided me. My dad, with his outgoing personality and unique sense of humor, my mom with our SUPER alike minds and tons of inside jokes, spending family days together making memories, getting advice when I needed it, being chauffeured around. . .they really are my everything, and the ones I try hardest to make proud. I love you both so, so much and I can't thank you enough. I won't ever be able to thank you enough.

I feel as though I need to thank a few of my closet friends, as well. The ones that make up "the gang". Tonya, you are one of the best gal pals I have ever had. I know that times change, and people too, but I love how we are always able to make it through those changes to still stay so close. Kirstin, we have had QUITE the roller coaster ride with our friendship. After getting over a few minor bumps though, I'm glad I can say that we're such great friends. Jesse, we got lucky. We're lucky that we can be siblings and still get along so awesome. If it weren't for you, my childhood just wouldn't have been as crazy. Same goes for Sam; Without you guys, my days would be without adventure. There's one more person that I guess I should mention, since I reckon he IS a pretty swell guy that deserves to be thanked. . .

Ryan. Gosh, we've been through a LOT. If someone had told me 5 years ago that we would be where we are today, I'd have just told them "Here's hoping!" I can't even think of how best to tell you how thankful I am for you. You really are an amazing guy, and I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of us ALL.

Of course, none of this could have been possible without the help of our amazing God, who for some reason decided we should be so lucky as to enjoy this time of celebration together. Now there's someone I REALLY can't thank enough!

Thank you everyone who made this all possible.

(there's no way i could have said any of that without totally exploding into a blubbering mass of salty tears)

I'm graduated.

Graduation was. . .

Amazing.

Teary.

Wonderful.

Fun.

Sad.

Happy.

Inspiring.

All in all, I wouldn't mind it in the least if I could have the chance to relive that night.

It's coming. . .

Graduation is tomorrow.

Wait, was that clear enough for everyone? Did it fully sink in? Let me repeat it once more: Graduation, the day of celebrating no more high school EVER, is TOMORROW.

I feel old.

Not like my normal complain-about-aching-joints-I'm-almost-19 old, either. This is an entirely new feeling; A feeling of adulthood.

Sure, I've got the job, the car, the serious boyfriend, etc. but this is different. This is basically ending my childhood for good. It's a turn of the page, a throw of the dice, a step into the Great Unknown.

Is it exciting? Heck yes! But it's also really, really scary. It's scary because I'm afraid I'll get out of there, then dillydally my time away, forgetting to work towards my bigger goal. Of course, as long as I have loved ones helping to keep me focused, I should stay right on track. But still. . . it's intimidating.

I'm interested to see where my fellow seniors end up in life. Just the first year will be interesting enough. Who will go to college? Who will get a new job? Who will change first? Who will be the one who stays the same? Who will stay in touch? Who will slowly become Old What-their-face?

I feel like I'm about to lose my train of thought. Guess being up this late does that to a person. Farewell, my friends. This will probably be the last post I write as a teen in high school. Wow.

SO MUCH GOING ON, I'M GOING TO EXPLODE!

Seriously. Life is CRAZY right now! Not to say that I don't love it though, because I do. I love it so very, very much. I'm all for going going going, and so far I've yet to have any major meltdowns. Heck, if I think about it, there's really not any time to have a meltdown, big or small! Would you guys be interested in a little insight as to what all is going on right now? Maybe? Possibly? Is there anyone who even cares or still reads this old thing? Guess we'll find out. . .

So. CNA classes. It's only day 2 of a 2 1/2 week course, and already I'm really enjoying it. I'm already looking forward to trying something new, dealing with the residents, working for a cause, and (hopefully) being all that I can be.

Another thing with it being only the 2nd day of class is that the tests haven't been THAT hard yet. I've already had 10 tests(one of them being pretty difficult for a newbie such as myself) and I've got 100s on all but one, that one being a 97 and the hardest and longest test so far. That being said, I'm also getting the best test grades of the class SO FAR. Before you start judging and thinking, "Oh, she's so braggy, what a teacher's pet", hear me out.

The 6 other people in this class are really and truly something else. I thought some of the people I deal with at work were bad; These people are ANIMALS. I won't go into any further details about them(mostly because they aren't even worth talking about), but my point is this: Whenever I'm around my less-than-great peers, I instantly get this insane desire to try my best at whatever it is I'm doing. I mean, I try my best anyways, but when I'm around my peers, the ones who make my day hard and make me so mad I could spit, I turn into this mini version of Super Girl and I work ten times harder than I probably should.

These lesser workers seem to think that there's no one to impress, but in actuality, I find that there's ALWAYS someone you could work at making a good impression on. Leaders, customers, coworkers, family, friends, even God. . .they can ALL be impressed, and I love that. I'm a sucker for praise and acknowledgment, what can I say?

So aside from the whole career thing, I've also got new hours at work to look forward to, graduation this month, a state test, trying to spend as much time with loved ones as I can, and then somehow managing to keep up with all of my beloved hobbies that I used to have extra time for.

Like I said before; It's busy, but I love it.

Your Smile ♥

This song makes me happy. Give it a listen?

Update?

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO CNA CLASSES!!!

My first day is tomorrow. This is great, but it also means that the next 2 1/2 weeks are going to be crazy hectic, especially with class all day, work all night, and then graduation coming up later in the month.

God has SERIOUSLY been blessing me so much lately, and it makes me so sad and guilty because I feel as though I haven't had any time to properly spend any time with Him! It's amazing how caught up one can get in life, when HE is the reason any of it is happening.

I've finally got a sort of plan formed, and I'm really excited about it all. I just hope so badly that it all ends out well and I don't have a major moment of brain-exploding stress.

So basically, this is just a short post asking for prayer. I'm going to need it.