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I wish so much that I could change the calendar.
I would make it to where there was no such thing as Monday, rearrange the days to where people couldn't associate vulgar phrases with them, and have a super fun holiday on almost every weekend. I would make every day be, "See Your Boyfriend" day. I would make the 15th of May be a day of nothing but cornbread. If you didn't want to have a birthday, you could just ignore it and forget it ever happened.
....I'm screwing up centuries of time keeping. Aren't I such a stinker? ;P
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